Tunnel Vision

Man, oh man! What a strange last several weeks it has been with this stay at home order, eh?
I've been doing a lot of thinking about our perspective on life and situations and how much a single perspective can change an entire situation. As a substance abuse counselor it is my job to try and see other people's perspective which is sometimes close to impossible. I'd like to say I can put myself in their shoes but I can't. I will never have lived their life on the streets or fought their addiction for them. As strange as it may sound, I have tried countless times to image my childhood filled with physical and sexual abuse and the constant pain of hunger. I can't. It is unimaginable to me. The pictures comes to my mind but the feeling behind them doesn't. I suppose this is a good thing but it reaffirms my thought that some situations that people are placed can not be understood by everyone.

Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you weren't so self-centered? I do. Our selfishness is another thief of our ability to have perspective. This comes into play a lot for me personally when I am impatiently babbling at God about how he isn't answering my prayer requests at a quick enough speed. Then when he eventually does answer my prayer, and every thing turns out better than I could have ever imagined, I think to myself "Libby, you selfish cow! You should have just trusted God and looked beyond your own selfish agenda". God does that for me time and time again and it always leaves me in awe for him and irritation for myself.
       We get so stuck on our own personal plan of how life is supposed to go that we don't realize there are a million other possible ways it could still work out. Imagine how much you could accomplish and let go of in life if you weren't so selfish? One example for me as of late is this whole messy house buying process. We first applied for a home loan spring of last year. Our application was denied because we didn't have any credit because we don't believe in credit cards. I was so naive about the entire house buying process and was left irritated and discouraged. I wanted a house right meow.
         Grudgingly I applied for a shared credit card and went on my way. Fast forward six months and another home application later and it was denied again because apparently our shared credit card only gained me credit and not my husband as well. So off to get another credit card for my husband. Fast  forward another 6 months. Finally we get our application to go through only to find out that the most expensive home we could afford is $275,000 which is enough to land you a postage stamp sized lawn with an outhouse on it as a home in Kitsap County. My dreams of farm land and grazing horses was quickly fading.
     Well thank the Lord my husband finally agreed that moving out of Kitsap would be a good idea. Forever I had been pestering him to move to Eastern Washington where the land is cheaper and it is any horse riders dream. So here we are, April 2020. We found a wonderful little cabin on 20 acres in Okanagon County and we both liked it. First house we ever looked at.
    Now it gets better folks. The asking price was $175,000 which we were prepared to pay. The process was going seamlessly until the unthinkable happened. The appraisal value was $138,000 which shocked everyone and we did not have any extra cash laying around to offer the seller to make it up. Astonishingly enough, the seller accepted that price and here we are, about to go sign on the home. My speculation is this coronavius helped a bit because no one is buying and selling homes right now. The seller probably felt he should sell while he can.

In all of this, God had been telling me to "wait, wait wait". And I was saying "Now, now now!"

By waiting a little over a year beyond what I deemed to be perfect timing, the Lord provided us with better jobs, more income to buy a home, my husband' willingness to move out of Kitsap, a cheap home that we both agreed on and a lower price than we could have asked for. God's timing is always better! Time and time again He shows me that he always has goodness in store for me if I am willing to wait.

Until next time -

L